Wrapping up 2nd Cycle

Just had chemo yesterday at 9. Slept through chemo until fellow patient started a loud conversation about bowel movements. Came home and slept until 4! My aftereffects are largely regulated by this supplement wun-yi (see previous post). I've skipped it for the the former two weeks and taken it for the latter two weeks. So it doesn't help my white counts, but it makes me feel like chemo didn't even happen. For example, today I feel pretty good. No nausea, just a metallic mouth taste. Looks like it's gonna be a nice weekend. This will be good for the start of the next cycle too, which will overlap with Chinese New Year/Valentine's Day. The only different plan is for 5 days of neupogen. So not looking forward to that. Plus, that will make working really difficult to schedule.

Pink Cadillac

I could sell makeup. Go door to door, give facials, makeovers, all that sounds pretty fun and girly. I mean, I could, but give up my day job -- after our boss Dr. Guss introduces me as "the wife of the best optometrist west and east of the San Joaquin Valley"? That moment made me miss my endless hours in the office more than ever. If anything, being married to someone in the same field makes me super pumped about my job. Being able to come home and recount all the mysterious and wonderful things our patients say that school did not and could not prepare us for, being able to debate whether congenital syphilis can cause unilateral salt-and-pepper fundus (yea, so what if that was nerdy), and just being able to speak the same language is great and surprisingly not boring. So, do I want to be known as "the wife of " or do I want to "be"? I think you know the answer. Anyway, if I were to start a new job, it would be on the Food Network "Worst Cooks in America." Cross your fingers to see me on TV next season haha :P

Success in normal

This past weekend was by and large way more normal than any days I've had in a long time. Compared to last week, when I was first neutropenic and agoraphobic, then sick and achy with a cold; yesterday, tennis with Wilbur 6-1 (harhar!), baked him some cookies (from scratch! unburnt! he ate 5! 5!!), today, productive, energetic, ran easily, then I finished drawing this ...

@ Palm Springs Tram

We got a little cabin fever, so we went out for some fresh air

It's finally looking like sunshine here in the desert. Rain has been steady all night and all morning, making it treacherous driving outside (someone thought 'oh, storm drains smorm plains, it's the desert'). I actually like being at home. I'm ... adapting. I bake (dry as sand) bread, my husband comes home for home cooked (dubiously edible) lunches, I tidy up, I shimmy: I'm freakin Mrs. C! (Although I'd rather be Betty Draper, minus the vengeful adultery). I feel a 70% better than I did two days ago. White cell count jumped from 2.2 to 10.3 after 3 days of neupogen (hence the excruciating my-skeleton-is-becoming-adamantium feeling). Neupogen: no more! Antibiotics, antifungals, antivirals: discontinued! Headache: gone! Sniffles: mild! I'm particularly happy too because, thanks to doc, my second opinion is going to be at Cedars-Sinai (ranked 44 in the nation for cancer per US N&WR) although City of Hope is out of network. Can't wait to see me some hot mess celebs!
Random website of the day: http://www.postcardsfromyomomma.com/highest-rated/
Thanks to Wilbur's dad, the mystery is solved. Da tou tsai is very good!

Busy day!

7:15 - awake now
8:00 - liking laura's e-card
8:05 - looking up the name of this vegetable

9:15 - will someone please run to ranch 99 and find out what this is so i can eat it!

9:45 - at onc's office for blood draw and neupogen

10:20 - shopping! for groceries, but shopping nonetheless

11:00 - organize papers for tax season. yes, organize papers for tax season.

11:25 - sulking, feeling robbed by govmt taxes

11:55 - lunch with wilbur at mamacita's. no pictures, we ate e v e r y t h i n g

1:00 - continuing education zzz ...

2:00~ - putter 'round apartment

3:45 - what?! tornado in orange county

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/19/orange-county-tornado-str_n_428872.html

4:09 - watch macgruber trailer. val kilmer let himself goooo

4:45 - still life of mutant citrus

4:46 - did you know lenscrafters cut down all double doctor days?
5:00 - wilbur's home!

An earthquake rattled through the early morning, catching me mid-dream. It was just a small one, less than a 4 where we live. In seconds it was over, with my sleepy husband reassuring me with his hand in mine. I was kept awake with flashes of Haiti, worried about the safety of my family in far off cities. Mama had just returned to her house the previous afternoon. She left because she had a cold and was so concerned about the risk of infecting me, she rushed off without a kiss or hug goodbye.
Today is the first day I don't feel like myself. Wilbur is always concerned, always watching: counting how many bites of food I take, reminding me to take my medications, constantly feeling my forehead and taking my temperature, cleaning everything in sight with his Lysol wipes. I feel like a burden, even if Wilbur protests that I am not. He puts on his smile and tells me jokes and makes up stories to tell me. I know he tries hard to keep me cheered up. We can't do much other than stay home today, and we're bored. I feel that today is more different than ever before. I'm weak, invalid, and everyone just worries and protects me. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself.