Ode to the most superficial loss

.:.:. Chemo pattern baldness

I discovered something cool about chemo+alopecia. It's actually trackable by looking how the diameter of the follicle narrows and then recovers. The hair shaft gets thin as chemo causes apoptosis.

You can see my hair is going to continue to fall out; it's just a matter of time. Thank goodness I started out with relatively lots of hair. So as the rest of the damaged follicles gradually shed over the next 3-6 months, I'll still have new hair growing in.

I hypothesize that I lost less hair because of my hair type (or because I have less p53 vs Caucasians). My hair lives on, thanks to my thick and coarse Asian follicle -- exactly the type I used to curse at in the mirror. Its stubbornness used to mortify me that it would kink up in some places, never hold a curl, be so straight it would drag down and hang flat and lifeless. How could I miss committing an hour a day washing, drying, burning, bushwacking, dousing with product, just so it could disobey and cause me fury? Now that it's gone, all I can remember is the fun times. If only I had the chance for one last chignon! Obviously I still have hair, so the ode is moot. So much for my sad story. Did you know that 80% of chemo patients regard hair loss as the most distressing side effect?

Now with a boyish cut, it must be styled every day (no more throwing it into a ponytail). It's just funny when it sticks up in the morning. I baby my hair with sulfate-free shampoo, forgoing conditioner in an attempt for volume, letting it dry naturally which means my cowlick sticks up more than ever. No comb-overs as of yet, but my scalp is threatening to flash in public, possibly blinding some innocent bystanders with its whiteness. But hey, I even found a mole right where my hair parts on the top of my head, a good argument for a hat habit, or at least reversing the part once in a while. One male patient even commiserated with me by sharing how Propecia has worked wonders for his pate (and his prostate). If nothing else, I'm comforted by the knowledge that my lashes are twice as long as ever (thanks, Brooke Shields). Hm ... next use, latanoprost on my head?